Thirty-one with a backpack.

Well,

I have done the unthinkable. I have gone back to school. Some things that come to mind: "What was I thinking? Am I crazy? Is this the best time in our lives to do this? What about all the debt with student loans? Can I work full time and go to school? Will I have any sanity?" Well, I try to remind myself of some Good Ole' Jimmy Buffet lines. "Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been...There's a little bit of Fruitcake left in everyone of us, and if we weren't all crazy, wed all go insane"...*chuckle...

This has been a week. As I sit here in the hotel room, all alone, missing Martin and my 3 four-legged babies so much that it hurts, I think about this journey I have placed myself. Yes, I am crazy. Yes, I can do this. Yes, I have a biology degree, and 2 nursing degrees, and 6 years of experience to help me. Yes, I have a good support system. and Yes, the loans will be ok, because I will hopefully make lots more money, and finally, yes, I will have more wrinkles, but thats ok, because I have had tons of smiles.

I have met some very, very, cool ladies this week. I have made two wonderful friends from St. Louis, and one from Spartanburg. I also have met people that work here at Vandy, and many that work all over the country. It is so cool to be able to swap similar stories with people from all over the country with the same type of PICU drama.

I have done a lot of soul searching this week, and I know, I KNOW that this is where I am supposed to be, where God wants me. Too many things have fallen into place ( well, apparently at Vandy, things don't fall into place, we work for it here, per a staff member here at Vandy -lol its a long story) and I know the work is going to be hard, and I have definitely already cried some, but I think I can do this.

So here is where the journey started: I applied to USC, MUSC, Clemson, and Vanderbilt. Vandy was a last minute "I'll never get in, but what the heck, why not try" kind of school. I got instant rejections from MUSC and USC, MUSC being the second time. Vandy was interested in me from the start. I inquired about the school, and they asked me to apply. They seemed interested. I sent in all of my stuff, and had my letters written from the PICU docs and Dr. Troup, and just waited. A week later, I got a call from the admissions counselor wanting to talk to me. She said She wanted to change my app. She thought I was better suited for Peds Acute Care Nurse Practitioner instead of Peds Primary Care, because of my experience in the PICU and Transport Team, by what I do in the OR with Dr. Troup. I wrote the program directors of both, and both agreed that I was better suited for Acute Care. She told me that there weren't as many spots, but that I could try for it. I agreed, retook the GRE, and changed my app to suit Acute Care, and waited. They said 30 days. at day 37, I called. The same admissions counselor answered, and she said, "Nikki, the letters went out yesterday" with no emotion in her voice. I was like, "I HAVE TO KNOW! You don't understand!" I heard her walk away from her desk, and she whispered "You're in". I lost all control. I couldn't breathe. I had to hang up on her. Who do I call? What do I do? Martin is working, Dad is working, Dr. Troup is in a meeting. I called mom. (Who else?) She couldn't even understand me. I couldn't breathe much less speak. All I could get out is "I'm ok just stay on the phone." When I finally got it out, I am hysterically crying/laughing/screaming at this point, She said everything I needed to here. You know, if you ever doubt yourself, or need a reminder that you are a useful human being, Call your mom. I finally got calmed down, and tried to go to Martin. He was on a call. Three times, I missed him. Finally I gave up, and got to the hospital as fast as I could to tell Dr. Troup. En route, I got ahold of Dr. Seigler, my PICU intensivist and got to tell him. He was in the same meeting as Dr. Troup, and he was able to not reveal the secret. When I finally got to the hospital, I tried to get Dr. Troup's attention at the meeting, and finally texted him to come outside. The whole crying/screaming/laughing happened again as he hugged me and celebrated with me in the hall. Then I finally got to go tell Daddy. I went by his work. It is such a neat thing to go and share something that cool with your dad. You know, its like "I DID IT!!!!! You did good! Because of you, I AM HERE!!" FINALLY, I got to go tell Martin. I went to his work, he was finally there, and when he came outside I started crying again, and I said, "I got in I got in." He teared up with me and he said "I KNEW IT!!! I figured thats what it was!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Here I am. I flew in on Monday and got here pretty late due to a flight delay. I checked in to the hotel, and woke up at 6am to find my way to campus and eat breakfast. We had a breakfast social in the lobby and I met Jeff from Chattanooga, and asked him if he knew Macy from Teen Mom. He laughed a lot about that. Poor thing, we have hauled him around with all of us ladies, so he wouldn't be cooped up in the hotel room. I told my little group that I don't meet a stranger, bc of working at Disney, and sometimes it can be dangerous. They all thought that was funny too. The first 2 days were pretty boring, because we just had to learn about the housekeeping stuff. Wed afternoon we got to finally meet our program director and learn that there are 25 of us. THERE ARE 25 of us THATS IT! Thursday we met our pathophysiology teacher and all of the other classes. I learned that this is going to be tough... I believe he said something about "like drinking water from a firehose..." If that explains anything...Wed night, we had to go to this BBQ at the home of the dean, and we left there, and I recruited 5 people to go and give them a tour of downtown Music Row. We started at Hard Rock, went to Margaritaville, and walked all up and down Broadway. It was fun. We laughed at all of the Teeshirt shops and the Opry store, and tried on many pairs of boots downtown too. Now it is Friday, I am reeeeeally homesick, and We got out of class at 2:30. There was a flight out of southwest at 5. I was like could I make it??? I had to walk the mile back to the hotel, pack, and turn in the rental car....probably not...I called Martin and daddy, and they convinced me to stay here and relax for the flight tomorrow. I heated up my supper from Cheesecake Factory, and here I am. Apparently The Marshall Tucker Band is going to be at the BBQ festival at 9pm tonight, but I don't want to go alone...Well, that about sums up my first week here at Vandy. I wanted to create a new blog to communicate everything with close friends and family members. I am worried about going back to work Monday. I have like 113 emails to respond to...Oh well..."Come Monday, it'll be alright. Come Monday, I'll be holding you tight"...

Peace Y'all.